Ask Dr. Mona

What you’re describing is something many kids go through. Some children genuinely want connection but have a hard time taking the social risk, especially if they worry a “no” means much more than it actually does. That’s an important difference, because the goal is not to make him more outgoing. It’s to help him build confidence in knowing that awkward moments, slow starts, and even hearing “no” do not mean something is wrong with him or that he won’t be able to build friendships.

Learning how to enter social groups and handle rejection is a skill many kids are still figuring out in early elementary school. That skill and confidence take practice.

What often helps is giving him practice with social risk in very small, manageable ways. You can role play simple phrases like, “Can I play too?” or “Do you want to do this with me?” That kind of practice can make it feel easier to try in real life.

It can also help to practice what to say if someone says no, like, “Okay, maybe another time,” or “I’ll find something else to do.” The goal is not to make rejection feel good. It is to help him learn that a no in one moment does not mean no forever.

You can also reframe his thinking when he says a no means no one will ever want to be his friend. You might say, “Sometimes kids are already doing something, or they say no in the moment, but that does not mean they won’t play another time.”

If there is one classmate he seems most comfortable with, it may help to build that connection outside of recess through a playdate. Some kids do better growing friendships in quieter, lower-pressure settings before that confidence carries over to the playground.

Keep watching, stay in communication with his teacher, and focus on support rather than pressure. If he is interacting in class and at lunch, that is a really encouraging sign that the social interest is there. He may just need help bridging that confidence into bigger, less structured moments like recess.

For more on peer rejection, feeling left out, and how to support your child through those moments, see this past PedsDocTalk newsletter about peer rejection and this Instagram post.

Biting around this age is very common, especially when teething, frustration, and limited communication are all happening at once. At 12 months, many children bite because they are uncomfortable, curious, overwhelmed, or because they notice it gets a big reaction from the people around them.

At this age, long explanations usually do not help much. A calm, brief response is enough: “No biting. Biting hurts.” Then redirect quickly to what he can do instead. Since biting can also be sensory, it helps to offer something safe to bite, like a teether or cold washcloth.

It can also help to watch for patterns around when the biting happens. Some common moments include:

• Teething discomfort

• Frustration during play

• Excitement or overstimulation

• Wanting a reaction from a caregiver

If you start to notice a pattern, you may be able to step in earlier or redirect before the bite happens. Another helpful strategy is to reinforce the behavior you want to see. When he touches gently, plays nicely, or interacts without biting, you can narrate it: “You’re playing so nicely.”

This is very important: even though he may not fully understand every word yet, he’s learning through repetition and your consistent response.

For a few more tips on how to respond when toddlers bite, check out this PedsDocTalk Instagram post.

Ask Dr. Mona

Ask Dr. Mona all your parenting questions!

Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!