Ask Dr. Mona

You’re asking this at a really helpful time. At 23 months, toddlers don’t really grasp what a new baby means long term, but they definitely notice shifts in attention, routines, and energy. So the goal right now is to build familiarity, like planting seeds. 

Keep explanations simple and concrete: “A baby is growing in my belly,” or “Soon a baby will live with us.”

A few ways to make the idea feel less abstract to a toddler:

• Read sibling books and talk casually about the story

• Point out babies you see in real life and describe what they do

• Narrate baby basics: “Babies cry, sleep, and need help eating”

• Let them explore baby items without pressure or responsibility

Just as important is focusing on what won’t change. Toddlers feel safest when their world feels predictable. Protect routines where you can, especially sleep and meals. In the weeks before the birth, build in small, intentional one-on-one moments and name them: “This is our special time.” You’re showing them their place in the family is secure.

Some families like practicing “helper” moments, like grabbing a diaper or picking out clothes. The goal here is to help them feel included.

After the baby arrives, expect big feelings or small regressions. In these moments, naming the feeling while holding your boundary helps your toddler feel safe: “It’s hard to share Mommy. I’m still here.” You’re teaching them that feelings are allowed and the structure of the family is steady.

This transition is rarely seamless, but toddlers don’t need perfect. They need predictability, connection, and reassurance that their relationship with you is still solid.

If you want more support around this transition, this PedsDocTalk YouTube video shares practical tips for preparing toddlers for a new baby. It covers what to say before the baby arrives, ways to involve your toddler, and what to expect once the baby is home. Plus, this PedsDocTalk Instagram reel has a few more reminders about the adjustment.

This is such a common phase, and you’re not doing anything wrong by sometimes choosing sleep over consistency. At three, kids love their freedom but don’t yet have the impulse control or emotional regulation to stay put all night. These visits are usually about reassurance and habit. The biggest lever here is having a plan you can follow most nights, even if it’s not 100 percent perfect.

Start during the daytime. Preview the expectation: “When you wake up at night, Mommy and Daddy will walk you back to your bed so your body can rest.”

Then at night, keep everything calm, brief, and boring:

• Walk him back with minimal talking

• Use the same short phrase each time, like “It’s time to sleep.”

• Quick tuck-in, then leave

• No negotiating, no long comfort conversations

If bringing him into your bed happens sometimes, that’s okay. Just know it strengthens the pattern. Even choosing consistency most nights can shift things over time.

You can also add comfort supports in his room so he doesn’t need to go searching for reassurance. A nightlight, a favorite lovey or comfort item, or even keeping the door slightly open can help.

This phase usually improves with predictability and repetition. Think of it less as stopping a behavior and more as teaching a skill. He’s learning how to stay in his own sleep space, and skills take practice.

If you want more support around sleep, the Your Complete Guide to Baby and Toddler Sleep Support brings together trusted PedsDocTalk resources in one place. It’s organized by age and topic, so you can quickly find help for whatever season you’re in without endless Googling and choose from both free and paid options.

Ask Dr. Mona

Ask Dr. Mona all your parenting questions!

Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!