Ask Dr. Mona

You’re already doing exactly what helps most: modeling gentle hands and praising it when you see it. At this age, your baby isn’t being mean or trying to hurt you. He’s discovering cause and effect: “What happens when I do this?”

This stage is actually the beginning of discipline. Not punishment. Discipline as teaching safe, consistent boundaries. Around 8-9 months, babies start testing patterns and noticing your reactions. If they get a big rise when they smack or pinch, that reaction becomes fascinating. Your goal is to stay calm and show what’s okay instead.

Try short, steady cues:

Then show him what that means. Stroke your arm, pet a stuffed animal, or guide his hand. At this age, showing is more powerful than telling.

If it happens again or starts to hurt, hold the boundary:

And then follow through calmly.

Just as important, and you’ve already mentioned this, but notice the good moments:

Because where your attention goes, behavior grows.

It might feel like you’re simply waiting it out, but you’re already laying the groundwork for how your child will learn empathy, self-control, and respect for boundaries. This is discipline at its most basic level: teaching through calm repetition and consistency.

This PedsDocTalk IG reel dives deeper into discipline and what it truly means, particularly for young children, such as those as young as 9 months old. For more real-life scripts, toddler behavior guidance, and boundary-setting tips that actually work, check out the PedsDocTalk Toddlers and Tantrums Course.

It’s so tough when sleep suddenly changes after a long stretch of restful nights. Around this age, it’s actually very common for toddlers to resist sleep or wake in the middle of the night. Their brains and bodies are growing fast, and with that development comes more independence, imagination, and boundary testing.

You don’t need to overanalyze every nap or bedtime, but it helps to watch for patterns. Does he wake more often on days he skips a nap? Or maybe on days he naps longer? These clues can tell you how much rest his body really needs right now.

Here are a few more tips:

1. Keep your bedtime routine steady. Toddlers thrive on predictability. Even if bedtime takes longer, keep the same calming flow: bath, books, snuggles, bed. That rhythm tells their body and brain that sleep is next.

2. Adjust daytime sleep and bedtime together. If naps are stretching too long and pushing bedtime later, try capping the nap. On days he skips the nap, move bedtime earlier by 30–60 minutes to prevent overtiredness. Being too tired can actually make it harder to fall and stay asleep because cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, kicks in when they’re exhausted.

3. Keep night interactions calm and brief. If he wakes up, keep lights dim and your response consistent. Softly reassure, offer brief comfort, then help him settle again. Avoid turning it into long chats, arguments, or play, since it can unintentionally reinforce waking up.

4. Rebuild self-soothing confidence. During the day, remind him: “You know how to get cozy and fall asleep on your own.” In the morning, praise the effort: “You rested so well last night. Now we have so much energy to play today!” Positive reinforcement helps toddlers feel capable again, especially when their sleep confidence wavers.

Here are a few more PedsDocTalk resources to help you through this phase:

• Toddler Nap Refusal: Is It Time To Drop Their Nap?

• Toddler Bedtime Battles: Why They Happen and How to Make Nights Easier

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Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!