Ask Dr. Mona

Potty language is pretty common at this age– kids love testing out new words, especially when they know it gets your reaction! At this stage, children are becoming more aware of social boundaries and language, and potty words are often a big part of their exploration. Sometimes, we wonder where they pick up on these words – maybe they hear them in conversation, from older siblings, peers, or TV shows. It’s their way of testing limits, gaining attention, and feeling some control over their environment.

It sounds like you’ve already tried a few good tactics, so here are a few additional suggestions:

Stay neutral in your response: Rather than reacting strongly, which can sometimes make potty language more exciting, try to stay calm and neutral. You could say, “We don’t use that word, but I know you’re trying to be funny. Let’s use a different word instead.” Offering a replacement like “silly goose” can help. Then, laugh after you say it to show her that being funny doesn’t need to involve potty words.

Set clear boundaries: Let her know that potty words are only for the bathroom and they’re not okay to use around others. You can say something like, “We use bathroom words when we’re in the bathroom, not when we’re playing.” Consistently setting this boundary will help her understand when and where it’s appropriate.

Offer a silly outlet: If she’s looking for attention or simply wants to be silly, try giving her space to do so in a more acceptable way. You could say, “Can you tell me a joke?” or “Let’s see your silly face!” this allows her to still express her humor, but in a way that doesn’t involve potty language.

Reminder– this is a common phase, and it takes patience and consistency. The novelty or fun of using potty words will likely wear off with time. Keep sticking with these techniques, and with consistency, she’ll begin to understand the boundaries as she grows.

At just over a year old, your daughter is entering a phase where she is developing a stronger sense of independence but still lacks the words to express her wants and frustrations. This can often lead to crying or screaming as a way for her to communicate. It’s common for toddlers to struggle with these emotions as they navigate the world around them. When she screams out of frustration, it’s her way of trying to get what she wants, but she doesn’t yet have the ability to express it effectively.

To show her that you understand what she’s going through, try acknowledging her feelings with something like, “I see you’re upset because you want that toy.” This simple validation can help her feel heard, which is important when you’re communicating. If redirecting her gets her more worked up, sometimes just offering a moment of calmness – whether a gentle touch or hug– can help settle her down. If you’re unsure what she wants, a helpful strategy is to tell her, “Show me!” You can offer her your hand and follow along with what she’s trying to tell you. This can help her feel understood while guiding her to communicate more effectively.

Offering small choices, like “Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?” can give her a sense of control, which can reduce frustration. If she’s stuck on one thing, quickly redirecting her to something else, like “Look at this cool blue block!” can be an effective way to shift her attention.

Staying consistent with your approach is key. While it may take time for her to learn how to manage frustration in a more appropriate way – coping with frustration is tough– your patience and consistency will help guide her. It’s all about offering support while gently helping her learn new ways to express herself.

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