Ask Dr. Mona

This is such a common potty training challenge! It’s great to hear that your daughter is already recognizing when she has to go and using the toilet for pee– that’s a big step. Pooping in the toilet can take longer for some kids because it feels different than a diaper, and that change can take time. Some toddlers may feel uneasy about pooping in an open space, worry about flushing, or simply prefer the comfort of what they’ve always known. Others may hold out for a diaper as a way to maintain control when they sense pressure around potty training.

Here are some ways to ease the transition– you can adjust these strategies to fit your child’s needs:

• Let her poop in the diaper but in the bathroom– this helps her associate poop with the toilet space. You can progress to having her sit on the toilet in her diaper before trying without it.

• Make it fun– let her choose special ‘poop books’ or drop sprinkles in the toilet after she poops for a bit of excitement.

• Reassure and normalize– some kids worry their poop is part of their body, and flushing it can feel scary. Talk about how everyone poops and that it’s natural.

• Don’t pressure, but encourage– a simple, positive statement like, “When you’re ready, you can try pooping in the potty. I know you can do it!” can go a long way.

If you’re just starting potty training or facing setbacks, the PedsDocTalk No-Pressure Potty Training Course offers practical, adaptable strategies to make this process smoother. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach– just key principles you can apply in a way that works for your child.

Lying at this age is incredibly common, and while it can be frustrating, it’s actually a sign of your child’s developing brain. At five, kids are still learning about social rules, consequences, and personal responsibility. Sometimes, they lie to avoid getting in trouble, test boundaries, or even because they assume the lie will make the situation go away.

The key is to approach it in a way that encourages honesty while avoiding shame or punishment that might make them double down on lying in the future. Here’s how you can respond:

• Stay calm and skip the interrogation. It’s tempting to jump into detective mode, but cross-examining can make kids more defensive. Instead, try: “I know you want to avoid getting in trouble, but it’s important to be honest. What really happened?” This keeps the focus on honesty rather than just catching them in the lie.

• Acknowledge the motivation behind the lie. If they’re lying to avoid consequences, let them know honesty is always the best choice: “I won’t be upset if you tell me the truth. Let’s figure this out together.” If they’re testing boundaries, say: “It seems like you wanted to see what would happen. But, in our family, we tell the truth so we can solve problems together.”

• Use gentle corrections. Instead of saying, “Don’t lie,” try: “That doesn’t sound quite right. Can you tell me the truth?” This encourages them to rethink without feeling embarrassed.

• Praise honesty. Reinforce truth-telling whenever you see it: “I appreciate you telling me the truth. That helps us trust each other.” The more they associate honesty with positive reinforcement, the more they’ll lean into it.

• Model honest behavior. Kids pick up on everything. If they see you fibbing (even with little things like “I’m busy” when you just don’t want to take a call), they learn that lying is an option. Show them that honesty is valued in everyday situations. 

Lying is a phase, not a permanent habit. By creating a home environment where honesty is safe and encouraged, you’re laying the foundation for a child who tells the truth, even when it’s hard.

Want more on this? In my YouTube video, I dive deeper into why kids lie, how to handle it, and share examples from different ages.

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Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!