Ask Dr. Mona

This is such a common phase around this age. At 20 months, toddlers are learning independence, becoming more aware of control, and getting more sensitive to changes in texture, appearance, and presentation of foods. That combination can make even familiar foods suddenly feel “wrong,” even when they’re made with the same ingredients they’ve eaten before.

A helpful framework is remembering that you decide what is offered and when, and your child decides if and how much to eat. It is okay to hold the boundary of not making a separate meal, but it’s important that each meal includes at least one “safe food,” something you know he reliably eats. That safe food might be bread, fruit, or something simple, and that’s okay. Letting a toddler go very hungry in hopes that hunger will push them to eat new foods often backfires and can increase stress and food refusal.

A few gentle ways to support trying new foods without pressure:

• Model eating the food yourself, casually and without comment. Seeing you enjoy it is often more powerful than asking him to try it.

• Make it playful, not serious. Naming foods, dipping, stacking, or even just touching and exploring counts as progress.

• Keep pressure off the bite. Sitting at the table, smelling the food, or moving it around are all steps toward eating.

• Repeat exposure matters. It can take many neutral exposures before a toddler feels ready to try something.

For more tips and visuals, this PedsDocTalk YouTube video on picky eating explains why it happens and why it’s normal, and includes additional tips.

And if mealtimes are feeling like ongoing battles, the PedsDocTalk Picky Eating Playbook offers step-by-step guidance to reduce food refusal and make meals feel calmer and more predictable.

At this point, you’re building trust, and that matters more than what was eaten at any one meal.

A dream feed is when you offer a feeding after your baby has already fallen asleep, usually later in the evening, with the goal of stretching the next overnight wake-up.

Some families feel this helps, but there isn’t research showing that dream feeds reliably lead to longer stretches of sleep. I place a lot of value on following a baby’s cues, and waking a baby to feed can work against that. In many cases, it’s more helpful to pause during overnight wakings to confirm whether it’s truly hunger and allow babies to naturally drop night feeds over time, or to work toward eliminating feeds when age-appropriate.

If you do want to try a dream feed, it’s best to think of it as a short experiment rather than a long-term solution. It should happen about 2-4 hours after your baby falls asleep, only once, and in the first half of the night. Feed on demand and don’t force it. If your baby doesn’t actively eat, becomes harder to settle afterward, has reflux symptoms, or still wakes at the same time overnight, those are good signs it’s not helping and should be stopped.

What tends to be more effective long-term is focusing on daytime calories and a consistent feeding rhythm, which supports longer overnight sleep naturally. The PedsDocTalk Newborn Sleep Workshop includes a 2-hour on-demand workshop plus a comprehensive downloadable guide covering sleep expectations, soothing cues, transferring to an independent sleep space, and week-by-week strategies to lengthen overnight sleep for newborns under 12 weeks.

There’s no single right answer here. The goal is choosing the approach that supports your baby’s sleep and keeps nights as calm as possible for everyone.

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Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!