Ask Dr. Mona

At 3.5, nose-picking can be a mix of curiosity, boredom, self-soothing, habit, or even irritation inside the nose. It’s pretty common in toddlers and preschoolers, but I know that doesn’t make it easy to ignore when you’ve reminded them over and over and the finger still goes right back up there.

Here are a few things to try:

• Stay neutral. A big reaction can make the habit more interesting, so try to keep your response calm and boring. A simple, “Use a tissue, please,” or “Fingers out, tissue in,” is enough.

• Make tissues easy to access. Keep tissues nearby in the car, bedroom, playroom, and wherever it tends to happen most.

• Teach the replacement behavior. If they do not know how to blow their nose yet, practice when they’re calm and make it playful. You can have them try to move a small pom-pom or tissue with their breath so they learn what “blow” actually means.

• Look for patterns. Does it happen more during screen time, in the car, when they’re tired, or when they’re sitting still? If so, you can offer something for their hands before the habit starts, like a small toy, book, or activity.

• Check for physical triggers. Dryness and irritation can make nose-picking feel relieving. Saline spray, a cool mist humidifier, or addressing allergy symptoms like sneezing, runny nose, or itchy eyes may help.

• Add a simple hygiene reminder. You can say, “Noses have germs, so after we touch our nose, we wash our hands.” Keep it matter-of-fact, not shame-based.

• Praise the behavior you want to see. When you notice them using a tissue or asking for help, point it out: “You used a tissue. That was a great choice!” Positive reinforcement is key.

If there are frequent nosebleeds, sores, pain, persistent congestion, or a foul-smelling discharge from one nostril, check in with their pediatrician. Otherwise, this is usually one of those habits that takes time, consistency, and a very boring parent response to fade.

Being a year into daytime training and still dealing with poop in the pull-up at night is one of those things that feels like it should be done by now, but it is actually pretty common. Pooping on the potty is often a separate skill from peeing on the potty, and some kids hold their poop until they feel relaxed, private, or back in the comfort of a pull-up. For some children, the pull-up feels familiar and safe. For others, it becomes part of their evening routine or a way to have a little control around a body function that can feel vulnerable.

Since you’re already offering potty time before bed, I’d keep that routine calm and low-pressure. You can also try moving the poop opportunity a little earlier in the evening, like after dinner or bath, when the body may naturally be more ready to go. Make sure her feet are supported on a stool, since it’s easier to poop when her body feels stable. You can say something simple like, “This is your potty time. You don’t have to poop, but we’re giving your body a chance.”

A few things that may help:

• Avoid turning it into a battle. If she senses pressure, she may hold it even more.

• Keep the sit short and predictable. A few minutes is enough. Long sits can start to feel stressful.

• Use books to normalize poop. Potty books can help make poop feel less mysterious or scary, especially for kids who feel unsure about letting it go in the toilet.

• Use encouragement, not shame. “Your body is learning. When you’re ready, poop goes in the potty.”

• Create a small step forward. If she will only poop in the pull-up, you can have her poop in the pull-up while in the bathroom first. Then, over time, she can sit on the potty wearing the pull-up before eventually trying without it.

• Watch for constipation or withholding. If stools are hard, painful, very large, or she skips days, constipation may be part of the issue and is worth discussing with her pediatrician.

As far as how long it will go on, it really depends on the child. Some kids shift with a few weeks of consistency, while others need more time. If you’re looking for more step-by-step support, the PedsDocTalk No-Pressure Potty Training Course walks through flexible strategies for potty training setbacks, poop struggles, and helping kids build confidence at their own pace.

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