“My 6 year old has to go to after school care because I work, and he keeps asking, "Why do other kids get to go home and I have to stay at school?" and "Why do you have to work after school and not other mommies?" It breaks my heart every time. School gets out at 3:30 here, which just doesn't line up with normal working hours. How do I explain this to him?”
The 3:30 bell rings. Other kids are getting picked up, and Liam is heading to aftercare. And then he asks, "Why do you have to work? Other mommies pick their kids up."
Oof. Of course that hits.
The heartbreak you feel is real, but don't let your guilt do the answering. If he asks why you work and you respond with a long, apologetic explanation, he learns that aftercare is something sad that happened to him. If you answer simply and confidently, he learns it's just part of how your family works.
A few things that help:
Give him one answer and stick with it. "Mommy and Daddy (or whoever caregiver is in your family) work so we have our house and our food and fun stuff too. When work is done, I come get you." Then stop talking. The urge to keep explaining is your guilt, not his confusion. He asked a six-year-old question, and it deserves a six-year-old answer. If he asks follow up questions, answer them honestly without shame or guilt leading the way.
Don't take the bait on the comparison. He's right, some mommies don't work after school. So agree with him. "Yep, families do it all kinds of ways. Some kids go home, some go to aftercare, some go to grandma's." The trap here is defending yourself, because the second you start justifying, he hears that there's something to justify.
Validate the feeling underneath, because it's there. "It sounds like you miss me at the end of the school day. I miss you too. And I love that we get to see each other every day at pick-up." He's allowed to wish things were different, and you're allowed to hold the plan anyway. Both can be true at once.
Make the pickup something he can count on. The end of aftercare matters more than the middle of it. Maybe it's the same silly handshake every day (Ryaan and I have one), or he gets to pick the music on the drive home (or maybe you have quiet time in the car), or you ask "best thing and hardest thing?" in the car. Whatever it is, keep it the same. When he knows exactly how the day ends, the long stretch before it gets easier to sit through.
Connect the dots he can't. There's a decent chance he loves parts of aftercare and complains about it anyway. So do a little recon with his teacher, then name what you learn. "Sounds like you and Marcus are a whole thing now. That only happens because you're both there till 5." He might roll his eyes. He'll also remember it.
One more thing - no adult looks back and says "my childhood was great except for aftercare." That's not how kids store their childhood. What sticks is whether you lit up at pickup, whether home felt good, and whether you took care of your needs. He will take his cues about this arrangement from you, so if you talk about it like a sad thing, it becomes one. If you talk about it like a normal thing, it stays one.
The time to pay closer attention is if the questions come with other changes. Dreading school, new sleep trouble, clinginess that wasn't there before. That's a pediatrician conversation. But questions by themselves, even the gut-punch ones? That's just a six-year-old doing his job. They notice everything. Then they ask about it.
“Best ways to protect my infant from measles? She is currently 6 months old and not eligible for the vaccine to my knowledge. Will I also be able to get the vaccines on the AAP schedule if the federal vaccine changes go through? Or will that be determined by my own pediatrician?”
Some news that might change your plan this week: at 6 months, she may be eligible right now. MMR isn't routinely given before 12 months, but it can be safely given as early as 6 months when a baby is at higher risk of exposure, either from international travel or because the local health department recommends it during an outbreak. And with over 2,500 cases reported across 47 jurisdictions this year, a lot of areas qualify. So call your pediatrician and ask two things: is there measles activity near us, and does she qualify for an early dose? Just know that early dose doesn't count toward her regular series. She'd still get her routine doses at 12 to 15 months and 4 to 6 years. It's a bridge, not a replacement.
Beyond the early dose, her protection comes from the people and spaces around her:
Vaccinate the circle around her. Every adult and older sibling in her daily life should have their two MMR doses, since two doses are about 97% effective. She can't wear armor yet, so the people holding her have to.
Be choosy about crowded indoor spaces if measles is active near you. Measles hangs in the air for up to two hours after a contagious person leaves, and people spread it before the rash shows up. You don't need to bunker down, but skipping the packed indoor play space during local activity is a reasonable trade.
If she's ever exposed, call your pediatrician the same day. Given quickly, the vaccine or an antibody treatment can still lower her risk of getting sick. And if she ever has a fever and rash, call before walking into the waiting room.
On the schedule question: the AAP released its 2026 schedule with no changes to its routine recommendations, twelve other medical groups endorsed it, and a federal court put the revised federal schedule on hold in March. Your pediatrician is not required to follow the federal schedule, and AAP experts are encouraging pediatricians to keep following the AAP schedule, which is exactly what most are doing. The vaccines are still licensed, still made, still in the fridge.
The one thing to watch is insurance, since coverage rules are tied to federal recommendations. So far insurers have said they'll keep covering these vaccines at no cost through 2026. A fair question at any visit: "Are all of her vaccines still covered?"
So yes, you can follow the AAP schedule, and since your pediatrician is the one giving the shots, this gets decided in the exam room, together. The federal noise is loud, but your baby's vaccine plan lives with you and her doctor. It always did.
Ask Dr. Mona
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Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!
