Ask Dr. Mona

Some kids just come with more volume. Loud laughter, excited yelling, and big reactions. For many children, that's how they experience and express the world. And it makes sense that living inside that all day can leave you feeling overstimulated, even when you love every bit of who they are. Volume is genuinely a skill kids can learn.

A few things that can help:

Practice it when things are calm. Try not to bring it up only when you're already at your limit. Make it playful instead: "Show me your loud voice! Now your whisper voice. Now your regular talking voice." Kids absorb this kind of thing through play far better than through correction in the moment.

Use concrete language. "Quiet voice," "loud voice," and "talking voice" tend to land better than "indoor voice" and "outdoor voice," mostly because those don't always hold up. Kids can be loud outside and quiet inside, and they know it. Naming the actual volume gives them something real to practice.

Lower your own voice first. When the house gets loud, the instinct is to talk over it, but that usually just raises the energy more. Try getting close, dropping your voice, and saying something like, "I love how excited you are. My ears need a quieter voice right now."

Give them a real outlet for being loud. They need it. You can say, "You can be as loud as you want when we go outside to play today, but right now we're using talking voices." That tells them loud isn't bad. It just has its place.

Check in with your own sensory load too. Volume can hit harder when you're tired, touched out, or already carrying a lot. That doesn't mean your need for quiet is wrong. It just helps to notice it so you can respond with more patience instead of reacting from a full cup.

This takes repetition and a lot of modeling, and they won't get it every time. But over time, they really can learn that their voice has different gears and that different moments call for different ones.

If you’d like a deeper conversation on this, listen to the PedsDocTalk podcast episode about kids being loud. It covers why loudness can feel so triggering for parents, how to approach it with a mindset shift, and three strategies to help reduce the volume in your home.

Nail and cuticle biting doesn't always mean anxiety, though it can. It can also be sensory-seeking, self-soothing, habit, or boredom. Since you already know she has higher sensory needs, that's a reasonable thread to follow. And the guilt piece makes sense, but try not to let it take up too much space. You noticed, you're asking questions, you want to help. That counts for a lot.

At 2.5, repeatedly telling her to stop usually won't stick and can make the habit feel more loaded than it needs to be. The more useful focus is less about stopping it in the moment and more about giving her hands something else to do. A few things to try:

• Stay neutral when you notice it. Try, “Your fingers need a break. Let’s give your hands something else to hold.” This keeps it calm and avoids shame.

• Offer a simple replacement. Try a textured toy, pop-it, playdough, sticker book, water cup with a straw, or another small activity that keeps her hands busy.

• Look for patterns. Does it happen more in the car, during screen time, before sleep, when she’s tired, or during transitions? If you can spot the pattern, you can offer the replacement before the biting starts.

• Protect the skin while it heals. Keep nails trimmed, moisturize the cuticles, and use a bandage if there’s one spot she keeps reopening. Sometimes the bandage itself becomes a helpful physical reminder.

• Give her body other outlets. If she seems to seek a lot of input, simple things like outdoor play, climbing, pushing a toy stroller, playdough, or water play may help her get some of that input in a safer way.

This kind of habit takes time to shift. Start with protecting her skin, noticing when it tends to happen, and having a replacement ready. If the cuts are frequent, getting worse, or showing signs of infection, or if it continues even with consistent redirection, it's worth a conversation with her pediatrician.

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