Does Early Use of Tablets Lead to Increased Anger in Children?

As we move through this digital age, screen time is always a hot topic for many parents and caregivers. It can be polarizing and filled with a lot of judgment.

As a reminder, every child and family has unique dynamics and beliefs– what works best for one family might not be the solution for another. It’s all about staying informed and finding the right balance that suits your family’s needs and also supports healthy child development and visual health.

Recently, a new article about tablet use in children has been circulating through many online headlines. The study suggests a link between early childhood tablet use and increased anger and frustration in children. 

The findings suggest that increased tablet use at 3.5 years is linked to higher levels of anger and frustration at 4.5 years. Furthermore, this emotional dysregulation seemed to lead to even more tablet use by age 5.5. 

This suggests a concerning cycle– parents who struggle with their child’s emotional dysregulation may be more likely to turn to tablets. It’s important to note that this study was conducted during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic (from 2020-2022), which, as discussed in a prior newsletter, likely influenced behaviors and screen-time use patterns. There was likely a lot more screen use and stressed parents, which could have impacted their ability to help with emotional regulation for their children. I think we can all agree that the peak of the pandemic was a tough time for everyone.

Research like this is valuable for raising awareness. The article brings forward some important considerations for parents and caregivers. It’s helpful to read the research and consider the viewpoints of the online articles. Then, reflect on the information, your child, and your family—how does this information fit? Can you or should you make changes?

Years ago, when we talked about screen time, it usually meant screen time was watching on a television. Today, however, tablets have become a convenient, portable option that allows children to watch videos or play games almost anywhere. While this flexibility can be incredibly helpful, it can also lead to dependency. And it’s important for each parent to sit back and think if they’re becoming too dependent on portable devices– for their kids and also themselves. 

With a screen always available, the most important question is, what opportunities is your child missing out on because of the screen? Sometimes, children might miss out on the opportunity to explore boredom—an important catalyst for creativity and curiosity. Sometimes, it’s running or playing with other children. This PedsDocTalk blog post discuses more about screen time and the impacts with some tips to try!

Other times, when screens are consistently used to calm or distract a child, it can limit opportunities for healthy emotional dysregulation. When children rely on screens to manage feelings like anger, frustration, or sadness, they miss out on learning essential self-regulation skills. These skills are important for coping with emotions in healthy ways, like through communication, problem-solving, or calming techniques.

This brings up the idea of digital soothing– using screens to calm an upset child. This is the biggest issue I have with screens and could be the reason for the cycles of anger and frustration noticed in the research study. 

While it might seem like a quick fix, this can lead to a problematic association: “When I’m sad or angry, I need a screen to feel better.” 

Examples of how we can use digital soothing include: 

• You’re cooking dinner, and your child is screaming, so you give them an iPad

• You’re  at the doctor’s office, and they’re upset after the visit, so you immediately hand them the phone

• They scream and cry for a tablet or screen, and you hand them the iPad

This can inadvertently create a reliance on digital devices to handle feelings. When this is done often, a young child isn’t taught foundational emotional regulation skills, whether through co-regulation or self-regulation. Young brains need caregiver guidance through big feelings. Over time, this reliance on screens to soothe could limit your child’s ability to develop essential self-regulation skills.

So, the concern (both from the study and my experience) is when we immediately give a screen to “fix” dysregulation. Is the screen itself causing dysregulation and anger, OR is it that the child isn’t being taught healthy regulation skills because screens are replacing that? With all things screen time, my concern is the latter. Screens, when not used in a healthy way, replace other essential developmental skills.

When a young child is dysregulated, they likely need co-regulation with a caregiver. Some kids may need some time or space, and this is normal. In this situation, you can always say, “I see you’re frustrated. I’m here if you need me. Or if you need space, that’s fine too. I’m here when you’re ready.”

Co-regulation is the gateway to self-regulation, and a screen doesn’t teach our kids this very important skill. This is why there may be more anger outbursts in the study and more screen use (a vicious cycle of needing the screen to regulate).

The study also showed a cycle of emotional regulation and tablet use. The emotional dysregulation seemed to lead to even more tablet use by age 5.5. There is some research that the screen itself can impact attention space and be “overstimulating.” However, this really depends on the child. This YouTube video has more information on screen time research. The issue here is that families are using screens to soothe, and because a child gets used to this as their soothing mechanism, it becomes the default soother in this study, leading to more use. This is likely what was happening. We can stop this cycle by creating healthy boundaries and prioritizing emotional regulation before being able to use the screen.

Of note, the study also focused more on tablets and did not discuss the impact of watching screens on a larger screen like a television. We don’t have any research comparing TV screens to smaller devices, but I will say the “close-work” of a tablet or screen can strain young eyes and is another reason to be intentional and balance using a tablet. 

Depending on your family’s screen time philosophies, if a child is regulated, screens or tablets can be part of their day—just not the go-to solution for every emotional upset.

I recognize there will be occasions where you do offer a screen while a child is dysregulated, but these should be exceptions and not the rule. 

It’s helpful to limit associations between emotions and screen time. For example, when Ryaan was younger, he would cry when he wanted to watch TV. But we would support him through crying and wait for him to stop crying before considering TV. Once he stopped crying, felt regulated, and it was an agreed time to watch TV, we would enjoy watching TV. If it wasn’t the time for TV, we would repeat the boundary. 

But the rule for us as boundary setters and caregivers was that we would wait until he was regulated BEFORE introducing screens.

By waiting for Ryaan to calm down and regulate his emotions before allowing him to watch TV, he learned that he doesn’t need the screen to manage his feelings. He also learned that his crying wouldn’t get us to change a boundary, which is another really important issue when we allow kids to cry to get a screen. For more on boundary setting, check out this reel on Instagram.

This isn’t new information, but it’s a great reminder. If your child already has plenty of opportunities to develop these skills and tablets fit into your routine, that’s fantastic! 

However, if you’re reading this and thinking your child could benefit from less tablet time, now is a great time to try making small changes. 

Screens can be a part of our lives, but essentials such as physical activity, academics (if in school), family time, sleep, and meals are a priority. Screens are not inherently bad for children over one, but they need to be used effectively.

I would like to add that for neurodiverse children, such as those with autism, tablet use might serve different purposes, like helping with focus or providing comfort. Screens can provide sensory input (visual and auditory or even tactile) and a sense of safety and security. But, like neurotypical kids, the screens are part of their routine and are not used as a digital soother.

So, this information is for each parent to understand their child’s needs and proceed with common-sense screen use.

Also, remember that you can’t judge a parent’s action by a moment. We all have made exceptions to rules, and maybe you’re catching someone at that moment as well. Hold compassion for other parents like you would want for yourself.

But when it comes to tablets, being intentional is key. Not all screen time or tablet use is “bad” for children. It’s about balance and being mindful of your child’s tablet use. Decide ahead of time when and where your child can use their tablet, and try to maintain those boundaries. Also, remember to balance tablet use as extensive “close-work” or tablet use can be associated with visual conditions as discussed in this podcast episode.

Our family doesn’t use tablets unless we’re traveling, and in that case, Ryaan, who is 4.5 years old, has access to them. Otherwise, all routine television is done like in the 1990s–on the big television. 

Pay close attention to how your child behaves around screens. If you notice they’re becoming more irritable or overly reliant on their tablet, it might be time to cut back. Setting screen time boundaries could mean having designated “screen-free” times during the day or keeping tablets out of certain activities. It’s all about what feels right for your family, and these boundaries can help keep screens part of a well-rounded day.

Rest assured that if you are fostering your child’s development and using tablets or a screen, you are not harming your child’s behavior. If you feel you can cut back on screens, that’s always an option, too. And if by chance you are a parent who used a lot of screen time during the pandemic and as a digital soother (like the parents in the study), please know that change is possible, and emotional regulation can be taught.

On The Podcast

If you have ever had to triple feed OR if someone ever recommends ‘triple feeding,’ you need to listen to this episode. Triple feeding is when a mom nurses, pumps, and supplements breast milk or formula, and IT IS EXHAUSTING and not sustainable. I welcome Victoria Facelli, a fellow IBCLC-lactation consultant and author of Feed the Baby, who is changing how we talk about feeding babies.

We discuss:

• What triple feeding is and why it’s not sustainable

• The problem with lactation education and how we got to triple feeding as an option in the first place

• How someone can balance milk production, feeding the baby, and sleep

Ask Dr. Mona

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