Is Tech Use Around Kids Really Harmful?

If you’ve ever caught yourself scrolling mid-play or replying to a text while your child tugged on your arm–you’re certainly not alone.

This isn’t about guilt—it’s about curiosity. About getting intentional with something we all do, and how it may be shaping the way our kids connect with us—and the world.

Technology is part of modern parenting. It helps us stay connected, find support, and sometimes, just get through the day. Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s our lifeline to sanity. But what happens when our attention is divided more often than we realize? 

A newly published meta-analysis in JAMA Pediatrics looked at how parental technology use in a child’s presence (PTU)–sometimes called technoference–relates to early childhood development. The findings offer helpful context without shame: Yes, there are associations worth knowing. But this isn’t about guilt–it’s about awareness, patterns, and small choices that can make a difference.

What is PTU and why does it matter?

PTU stands for parental technology use in a child’s presence–things like checking your phone while your toddler plays next to you, or responding to a message during dinner. Some studies also call this technoference.

It’s incredibly common.

• More than 70% of parents report using devices during play or meals.

• Nearly 90% engage in PTU at least once daily (and the other 10% may just be too tired to admit it on the survey!).

And researchers are paying attention because early childhood is such a sensitive window. It’s when kids are learning how to connect, regulate emotions, use language, and explore the world. When our responses are distracted, those learning moments might get interrupted, too.

That’s why this new study set out to understand what those patterns might mean–and what associations they found.

What the study found

The systematic review and meta-analysis looked at 21 studies involving nearly 15,000 children under age 5 across 10 countries.

The main findings revealed that PTU was associated with poorer cognition, prosocial behavior, and attachment, and higher levels of internalizing problems, externalizing problems, and screen time in children under age 5.

That might look like slightly lower attention or self-regulation, fewer moments of helping or cooperation, more withdrawn or challenging behaviors, or increased screen use. Imagine your toddler trying to get your attention while you’re checking Instagram–and they respond by launching a toy truck. That’s a tiny snapshot of what these findings reflect.

These aren’t dramatic shifts–but they reflect small, measurable differences in how young children engage, behave, and interact when parental tech use is frequent. No need to panic–your toddler’s future empathy isn’t derailed by one Instagram scroll. 

I’ll be honest—I saw myself in these patterns. That moment when I’m checking email and my toddler flings a block at my head? It’s not always “bad behavior.” It might be a bid for connection.

The associations were small but noted to be statistically significant–meaning these effects may not be obvious day to day, but the trends across studies suggest they’re worth being mindful of.

Interestingly, no studies in the review examined PTU’s relationship with motor development, sleep, or physical activity–highlighting key areas for future research.

It’s also important to note: these results are correlational, not causal. We can’t simply say PTU directly causes these outcomes. And because outcomes were grouped into broad categories (like “cognition” or “attachment”), the true picture may be more nuanced than the data captures.

Another important limitation? There’s no standard way to measure PTU yet. Only one study in the review used a validated questionnaire. And in research, using validated tools matters–it helps ensure we’re actually measuring what we intend to.

So while this review doesn’t answer the big question– “how much tech use is too much?”–it offers something valuable: a pattern. Across studies, more frequent PTU was linked to subtle differences in children’s social and cognitive functioning, suggesting that even brief, repeated moments of disengagement may shape how kids respond and connect.

But do we really need a study to tell us this? Sometimes, noticing your own habits is enough. If you’ve ever caught yourself checking your phone and felt that tug–like maybe it’s time to cut back–that awareness alone is powerful. Research can guide us and sometimes remind us, but it doesn’t always capture the full picture. It doesn’t capture that you were replying to your boss while microwaving lunch, managing a tantrum, and wiping yogurt off the wall. 

Every family’s needs are different. This study doesn’t tell you to aim for zero screen time–it simply reminds us that presence matters. And if you’re trying to be more intentional with that presence? You’re already doing the work.

What this does Not mean

This doesn’t mean you need to toss your phone in a drawer or feel guilty every time you check a text. 

This study doesn’t suggest that occasional tech use is harmful–or that you have to be fully present every moment of the day to support your child’s development. It’s about patterns. 

The researchers also looked at how tech use showed up–whether parents were distracted the whole time or momentarily interrupted–and found no major difference in outcomes. Both forms were associated with small shifts in child behavior, which means even quick glances or short interruptions might matter more than we realize. But again: small shifts. 

And it’s worth remembering–this research can’t capture the full reality of parenting. It doesn’t account for the parent who’s texting at the doctor, ordering groceries, or managing work deadlines while folding laundry. It doesn’t see the mom who’s taking a photo and then putting the phone away with intention. Or the dad doing school pickup while squeezing in a call with his manager. We’re multitasking ninjas–out of necessity, not choice. And it certainly doesn’t suggest there’s only one right way to approach tech as a parent.

What it does offer is a gentle reminder: our attention matters. And being a little more aware of where it goes can help us show up the way we want to.

What you can actually do

Instead of aiming for zero screen time around your kids (which isn’t realistic for most of us), try focusing on a few small shifts that feel doable in your daily routine.

• Protect a few key moments. Maybe it’s mealtime, bedtime, or the first few minutes after school. Having some phone-free windows can help anchor connection without needing to be screen-free all day.

• Narrate your use. Saying something like “I’m sending one quick message, then I’m all yours” models what it means to be intentional with tech–and helps kids understand what to expect.

• Co-use when possible. Watching a short video together or engaging with an app side-by-side is different from zoning out separately. Shared experiences still count.

• Model boundaries and availability: If your older child starts talking while you’re mid-scroll, try responding with: “I’m just checking something for work. Give me one minute, then I’m all yours.” 

• Notice your habits. Are there certain apps that pull you in? Times of day where you’re more likely to scroll? Just being aware can lead to small but meaningful changes.

None of this has to feel drastic. It’s not about being perfect–it’s about being present enough.

 A Note for Work-from-Home Parents

Let’s be real: for many of us, the phone isn’t just a distraction—it’s how we work, connect, and support our families. If you work remotely or run a business from your phone like I do, “just put the phone away” isn’t always an option.

So how do we stay present without sacrificing the realities of modern work?

Here’s what’s helped me and other parents I work with:

• Create tech boundaries, not tech guilt. That might look like setting designated “work sprints” followed by a 10-minute kid connection break.

• Narrate with intention. If your child walks in mid-email, try: “I’m finishing a message for work. Can you sit next to me while I wrap up? Then it’s snack and story time.” It teaches patience and prioritization. I’ve had to do this many time and I tell my son what we can do AFTER I’m done and follow through.

• I allow them to play while I work in the same room. This may work for your older toddler or preschooler, but sometimes they just want proximity even if in silence while you work and they play. 

• Signal the end of work time. Saying out loud, “I’m putting my phone away now,” becomes a cue—for your child and for you—that your attention is shifting to them.

• Let go of perfect presence. You won’t always get it right. That’s okay. What matters is that your child sees the effort—and feels that when they really need you, they have your full attention.

Working from your phone doesn’t make you disconnected. But unspoken patterns can. So stay curious. Stay intentional. And give yourself grace as you navigate both roles.

Final thoughts

As a pediatrician, I understand the research.

As a parent, I understand the pull.

Running a business online means I’m often on my phone–and during the day, especially around email or content planning time, it’s easy to fall into a scroll cycle. That’s why I try to be really intentional about protecting certain parts of my day–mealtimes and playtime in particular.

And yes, I sometimes have my phone out to take photos or videos of my kids. But I also make a point to say, “Okay, I’m putting my phone away now.” It’s not just for them–it’s for me. A little verbal cue to shift gears, and a way to model what healthy tech boundaries can look like.

This study reinforces what many of us already sense: our kids notice when we’re present. And they notice when we’re not.

That doesn’t mean we need to strive for constant attention or feel bad for needing a mental break.  You’re not a robot, and your phone isn’t the enemy–it’s just about noticing who or what gets your attention most often, and adjusting the dial a bit. Sometimes the phone helps us survive the day.

The goal isn’t zero screen time—it’s mindful screen time. Because our kids don’t just need our presence. They need to feel it. But if you’re trying to be a little more aware, a little more intentional–that’s more than enough.

On The Podcast

In this honest and personal episode, I’m joined by my husband, Gaurav, as we open up about what makes our marriage work—especially through the chaos of parenting, career shifts, and everyday life. We talk about:

• The power of balancing each other’s strengths and weaknesses

• How we’ve navigated trauma, including our son’s birth and postpartum period

• Our nightly “State of the Union” check-ins—and why they’ve changed our relationship

• What we’ve learned about love languages, communication styles, and unmet expectations

• How we’ve moved from trying to “fix” each other to simply understanding and growing together

Do you have a strong-willed child? How do you know you have one? Are you approaching their behavior in a positive way? I have recorded ⁠a solo episode⁠ about strong-willed children and power struggles and I always enjoy it when I can chat with fellow parenting coaches about it. I welcome back Zack Kasabo who is a certified school counselor and parent coach. He was on the show before talking about how to encourage positive behaviors in kids without enabling them. We discuss: 

• Misconceptions about strong-willed children and parenting strong-willed children

• The power of “mutual submission”

• The number one rule when addressing strong-willed children

On YouTube

What’s really in vaccines? I break down the facts behind mercury, aluminum, and more—so you can ditch the fear and trust the science. The video covers:

• What is in vaccines?

• Is there mercury in vaccines?

• Is there aluminum in vaccines?

• Is there formaldehyde in vaccines?

• Are there fetal cells in vaccines?

Ask Dr. Mona

An opportunity for YOU to ask Dr. Mona your parenting questions!

Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!