Navigating Holiday Sweets

Holiday sweets are everywhere – the cookies, the candies, the desserts at every gathering. If you’ve ever felt torn between letting your child enjoy the fun of the holidays and worrying about all the sugar, you’re not alone. Many parents struggle with finding balance and feel guilty, stressed, and even frustrated.

Maybe you’ve caught yourself wondering, Is this too much sugar? Am I setting them up for bad habits? Will they sleep tonight? Or, maybe you tried to keep it light, but sweets somehow turn into a power struggle – or feel much bigger than they should.

Here’s the thing: there’s no one-size-fits-all way to handle this. Every family has different preferences, and every child is different. But there are some helpful ideas to keep in mind – approaches that can foster balance, connection, and a healthy relationship with food. It’s not about restriction or guilt – it’s about finding ways to enjoy the holidays without making sweets the center of everything or getting into power struggles.

But how can I teach my child about balance with food?

Helping children build a positive relationship with food starts with how we approach these moments. Children learn about food through tastes, textures, and the excitement of sweets. For parents, this stage can feel tricky, especially when sweets seem to steal the spotlight. But no matter your child’s age, food isn’t just fuel – it’s also about enjoyment, connection, and variety.

Restricting sweets entirely might seem like the easiest way to avoid the “too much sugar” worry, but it can often backfire. Children are naturally drawn to what feels off-limits, and making sweets feel “forbidden” can make them even more enticing. Similarly, labeling foods as “good” or “bad” creates unnecessary pressure. Children may feel like they’re doing something wrong for enjoying certain foods, which can lead to guilt or confusion.

Instead of focusing on what’s “good” or “bad,” try talking about food in terms of variety and balance. For example, instead of saying, “Cookies have too much sugar,” or “Cookies are bad for you,” you could reframe with, “Cookies are something we enjoy sometimes. What’s your favorite kind?” This approach helps children learn that no single food defines their health – and that all foods can have a place.

Children also learn so much by watching. When you enjoy sweets in moderation and talk about all foods positively, they’re likely to pick up on that. By modeling this mindset, you’re laying the groundwork for a healthy relationship with food – one where your child feels free to enjoy what they eat without guilt or fixation.

How can I navigate holiday sweets, especially with a toddler?

Holiday sweets can be both fun and tricky to navigate. One minute, your child is savoring a cookie, and the next, they’re asking for “just one more.” It’s easy to feel overwhelmed or wonder how to respond in the moment.

When this happens, remember that small, intentional steps can go a long way in encouraging balance and joy around food. Here are a few tips to keep in mind – not just for the holidays, but always:

Normalize that sweets are a part of life

Including sweets as part of meals or snacks can help prevent placing sweets on a pedestal. For example, instead of using dessert as a reward for finishing their meal, you can offer it regardless of how much they’ve eaten. Sometimes, it may make sense to let your child explore other food options first, but the key is to avoid framing dessert as something they have to “earn.” This approach helps children see sweets as a normal part of eating, not something to fixate on or view as special or forbidden. By treating sweets like any other food, you’re reducing the emotional weight attached to them and encouraging a more balanced mindset. 

Don’t call sweets “treats”

This is a common occurrence but by calling it a “treat” we put sweets on a pedestal. Yes, we should be eating them with moderation. Teaching a healthy relationship with sweets starts by avoiding terms like treats, which can create a hierarchy of foods and assign emotional value to sweets. Instead, refer to them neutrally by name, like cookies or chocolate, and incorporate them occasionally as part of meals or snacks to normalize their place in a balanced diet. 

Avoid setting a standard of “emotional eating”

Using sweets as rewards for good behavior or to console bad days teaches kids to associate food with emotions, leading to unhealthy habits like emotional eating or overvaluing sweets. It can also undermine intrinsic motivation, making kids behave well only for a treat rather than understanding the value of their actions. Instead, reward with experiences or quality time and help children process emotions through conversation or creative outlets. Sweets can come later or part of your routine; but they shouldn’t be used as rewards. This builds a healthier relationship with food and supports emotional resilience.

Teach intuitive eating

Encourage your child to listen to their body’s natural hunger and fullness cues. This might mean respecting when they say they’re full, even if there’s food left on their play, or understanding when they ask for more of something, it’s because they’re still hungry. By honoring these signals, you’re helping them learn to trust their body and make choices based on their needs. For example, when we go the birthdays parties; Ryaan really enjoys cakes and cupcakes. We do not restrict him and allow him to eat it with a meal if it’s being served. Sometimes he eats all of it and sometimes he just eats a portion. If he asks for more, we allow it and remind him to listen to his body until he’s full. We do this for all foods and a gentle reminder when he’s eating sweets to avoid binging beyond fullness cues. Just this past weekend, he left half the cake and said “I’m done. That was yummy.” 

Model a healthy mindset about food

Your child is always watching and learning from you. When you enjoy sweets without guilt or negative comments (e.g., “I shouldn’t eat this” or “I need to burn this off later”), they’re more likely to develop the same mindset. Instead, you might say, “This cookie tastes so good. I like enjoying them with you!” Positive self-talk about food can go a long way.

Offer choices

Children, especially toddlers, thrive when they have some control. If you’re at a gathering with lots of dessert options, let them pick one or two favorites to enjoy. You might say, “Would you like a cupcake or a cookie?” This empowers them to make a decision without feeling pressured. If your child is under two, we do love to limit added sugars but you can use parental discretion on having a taste. Having a sweet occasionally at this age is not sending them down a path of medical issues.

What about these common situations?

Here are a few common scenarios parents often find themselves in – and some scripts to help you feel more prepared:

What’s most important to keep in mind? 

The holidays are a time for connection, joy, and yes…sweets! It’s natural to think about how to approach sweets, especially when they seem to be everywhere. But here’s the thing – it’s the holidays. There will be more sweets, and that’s okay. It’s not everyday life, and it’s part of what makes this season feel special.

Small, intentional shifts – like normalizing sweets, encouraging intuitive eating, and modeling a positive mindset about food– can have a big impact, both during the holidays and in the long run. These tips are here if you need them so you can feel prepared.

But above all, don’t add more stress. The goal isn’t just about food – it’s about teaching your child to trust themselves, enjoy the moment, and focus on connection. At the end of the day, it’s about finding what works for your family, trying to keep things simple, and enjoying the season.

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This week, I welcome Farnoosh Torabi, a personal finance expert, to discuss how to foster open and honest conversations about money with children and help them develop a healthy relationship with finances.

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