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PDT Real Talk: How Our Kids Change Us

PDT Real Talk: How Our Kids Change Us

What parents shared about patience, boundaries, healing, and seeing themselves more clearly.

Mona Amin
November 30, 2025

Parenthood has a way of shifting us in ways we never saw coming. It’s not usually one big moment. Instead, it’s the small, everyday interactions that slowly change how we think, how we react, and even how we see ourselves. Maybe it’s the way your toddler says something so unexpectedly wise that it stops you in your tracks. Or the way becoming a parent pushed you to set boundaries, ask for help, or finally give yourself the grace you didn’t grow up with. The changes aren’t always easy, but they’re real, and they’re often the parts of parenting we don’t talk about enough.

This month, we asked:

“What’s one way your child has changed you?”

Your responses were thoughtful, honest, emotional, and incredibly relatable. These were the themes that showed up again and again.

Seeing yourself more clearly

Parenthood brings so many parts of ourselves into focus. Reactions we didn’t even notice were automatic, patterns we inherited without meaning to, and emotions that surface at unexpected times. Many of you shared how becoming a parent sparked self-reflection, healing, or a deeper understanding of who you are and what shaped you. For some, that led to therapy. For others, it meant acknowledging old wounds or recognizing what support you needed. Parenting didn’t just change how you show up for your child. It changed how you show up for yourself.

Like many mothers my age, I had to re-parent myself after having my son. I started therapy and started prioritizing my own mental health so I could show him how to regulate and how to express emotions...

My child has helped me ask for what I need, prioritize my own well-being and reflect on my own childhood.

Not only am I more open to learning about my weaknesses, I want to know them, because I want to be the best version of myself for my children…I even share parts of it with my children so they know we all have things we’re working on (“mommy is working on being more patient, I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier”).

Parenting has helped me discover and get diagnosed with ADHD. It was something I had always struggled with, but masked the symptoms so well. Since parenting is so unpredictable, I could no longer cope/mask the way I used to and felt so disappointed and confused in myself when I would become dysregulated. I'm so grateful to have been diagnosed so I can work on my own journey along with my kids :)

I’m so much more aware of my shortcomings in terms of manners and emotional regulation… It’s very humbling to recognize that I need to work on the same skills as my toddler!

Growing more patient and present

A lot of parents described a quieter, internal shift on the inside. Noticing a slower, more intentional way of responding. Kids stretch us in ways we never anticipated. They challenge our old habits, ask us to rethink how we communicate, and often bring out a tenderness we didn’t realize we were capable of. Whether it’s handling overstimulation differently, softening self-criticism, or learning to breathe before reacting, many of you shared how your children helped you grow into a calmer, more grounded version of yourself.

I have more control over my emotions. I don't act out so quickly. Adults don't throw tantrums!

How haven’t I changed?? I certainly have developed so much more patience and empathy. I feel completely differently about parents than I used to and am so much more forgiving for other people’s children’s behavior. I feel completely transformed into someone totally different. My impatient assertiveness has taken a backseat and I now lead with empathy and patience. What a whirlwind!

I grew up in a anxious household. One day I couldn’t get something right or broke something. My son came to me and said.. it’s okay mom. You can try again. He made me strong and made me less self critical.

I have more patience than I ever thought I could muster. I learned to be level, calm, and understanding far outside of my normal responses - the patience he's taught me is unreal.

Becoming more confident with boundaries

Parenthood tends to make what matters most a lot clearer, and for many of you, that meant learning to protect your time, energy, and decisions in a new way. Some of you became more comfortable saying no. Others found yourselves more decisive or consistent than you expected. And many shared how parenting helped you be thoughtful about where your time goes, who you spend it with, and how you hold limits both for your child and yourself.

My baby is only 7m old so there’s still a lot more growing and changing to come, but the first thing to change for me was feeling more confident in setting (and upholding) boundaries. I’ve always struggled with this (hello first daughter keeping the peace people pleaser) but since I’ve had my daughter I have no problem telling people no or setting a rule that they might disagree with. It can sometimes put me in a little fight or flight but I stand firm on my decisions.

I am so much more protective of my time. And it goes beyond to asserting some boundaries at work and the like - I find that I am much more judicious in my decisions of what to prioritize, what relationships to really invest in, and so on…not waste time/energy on things like one-sided relationships, situations that do not feel supportive, or things my family and I do not want to be doing.

My daughter has shown me that i am a more consequent parent than i thought i would be. I try to stick with one direction once I chose it; like I try not to turn a 'No' into a 'yes', because my daughter cries at my answer. Still i try to explain/show her the reasons for my decision (not always easy, my toddler is 1y and 9 mo.) so she sees me as transparent. Dont know if I'm going the right way with it since she's still so young but it feels right to me and I feel like stability is good.

Letting go of perfection and control

So many of you shared how parenting helped you loosen your grip on expectations, like the plans you imagined, the tidy home, the “ideal” version of yourself you thought you’d be. Kids bring unpredictability, big feelings, and mess. And in the middle of all that, many of you found more flexibility, more joy in the imperfect moments, and a deeper acceptance that not everything needs to be managed or polished to matter.

I realized how rigid I could be — specifically my need for logic above all else. He’s 4 now, and I still have to remind myself basic logic isn’t how he’s going to learn yet. It’s helped me be more open to the “squishy in between” of the unknown or even…throw logic out the door and focus on promoting the behaviors we want to see…

My kids have taught me to have hope and to see life through a more loving and adventurous lens. They’ve shown me that even on the toughest days, there’s always something to be grateful for.

My children have forced me to let go of the little things I would usually obsess over- a perfectly clean & tidy house, always being "picture perfect" when we leave the house- basically, they've forced me to realize that chasing perfection is EXHAUSTING and unnecessary. I feel so much happier and more free now…I will happily take a messy-hands hug and not change my shirt for the rest of the day... Mom badge of honor right there.

Thank you for sharing

Thank you to everyone who shared this month! The ways our children have shaped us, softened us, challenged us, and grounded us are all powerful reminders that parenting isn’t just about raising kids. It’s about growing right alongside of them.

The giveaway winner has been notified by email. We’ll pause Real Talk for December, but we’ll be back with a new question in the new year.

PedsDocTalk Monthly Recap

Check out the PedsDocTalk monthly recap of the most-viewed and talked-about content on Instagram, YouTube, and the podcast. From newborn grunting to banana meltdowns and late-diagnosed ADHD, these topics have sparked important conversations. Take a look at what’s been catching your attention this month!

On Instagram

This post explains why newborn grunting and straining is usually normal and how babies are still learning to coordinate their muscles to pass gas and stool. It offers tips to support digestion gently and reminds parents that this learning curve is one of many newborn quirks that can feel stressful, but it’s all part of adjusting to life outside the womb.

This post takes on the classic toddler banana meltdown and what’s really going on beneath it. It offers simple tips for building emotional regulation and reminds parents that what feels small to us can be a big deal in a toddler’s world. When we stay calm and validate their feelings, we’re helping them build the tools to handle the big stuff later on.

On YouTube

This video walks through what actually helps when kids are sick with colds and coughs, from saline and ibuprofen to honey, hydration, and comfort measures that make a difference. It breaks down what to use, what to skip, and how to care for your child without getting overwhelmed during sick days.

On The Podcast

When Motherhood Unmasks Neurodiversity (ADHD and Autism)

This episode explores why ADHD in women is often missed, especially before motherhood. Dr. Sasha Hamdani joins to talk about how hormonal shifts and parenting demands can unmask symptoms, the overlap with anxiety, and why emotional regulation deserves more attention in ADHD care. It’s a powerful conversation about self-understanding, stigma, and seeing your own neurodiversity more clearly.