Should You Prank Your Kid?

April Fools’ Day is approaching, and with it is the season of pranks. Although pranks can be fun and a form of connection for many, the type of prank and the child's age need to be considered when choosing appropriate pranks.

Last year, a trend on TikTok involved parents setting up cameras to record themselves cracking eggs on their children's heads as a prank. The children's reactions ranged from cries and shock to even retaliatory actions like punching or slapping their parents. While there was laughter from the parents' side, it was evident that the children, who were very young and didn't comprehend the prank, were left confused and upset.

Pranks like this can be funny. Especially if done by an adult to another adult. I have seen some married couples prank each other, and it’s funny! However, adults have better cognitive processing skills to understand that it’s a prank, while small children do not.

The concept of pranks, who we can play pranks on, what’s allowed, consent, and limits is not something a toddler can understand. This often leaves them with a sense of confusion and even tears. All a young child will understand in the cracking an egg TikTok trend is that their parent hit them on the head with an egg and laughed. They will not understand the prank.

So, at what age can we even consider pranks?

With children under 4 years of age, it’s best to hold off on pranks. They simply do not have the developmental ability to understand the concept of pranks. Attempting a prank could potentially cause hurt feelings and confusion.

Around the age of 4 or 5, children may start using words to express themselves instead of relying solely on tantrums. They grasp the concept of truthfulness and understand that people can have different perspectives, known as the "theory of mind." This ability helps them comprehend pranks and unexpected situations based on norms and expectations.

For example, you block the toothpaste opening. When your child goes to brush their teeth, they try to squeeze toothpaste out, but none comes out. This may lead to confusion initially, but with understanding, they can find it amusing. A child over 5 years old can potentially understand this harmless prank. However, individual differences in development and sensitivity mean not all children of this age may fully grasp such pranks. It’s really important to understand your child.

Developmentally understanding the concept of a prank takes time. Children need to have the reasoning to understand the reality and the concepts of a prank. Realistically, this is closer to 12 years of age for most children. Again, you know your child best – keep in mind their development, temperament, and sense of humor.

Here are 3 prank ideas that are appropriate for kids 4 +

Remember, you do NOT have to do pranks, and the older the child, the better the understanding.

1. Frozen Fun

   After your kiddos go down for the night before April 1, pour a bowl with their favorite cereal, including milk and a spoon. Then, place the bowl in the freezer. When you serve it up in the morning, warm the spoon so it’s not ice cold. When they try to eat it, the spoon won’t move. You can tell them it was a joke or prank, laugh together, and serve them the real thing.

2. Where did the toothpaste go?

   Unscrew the cap from their toothpaste and put some plastic wrap on it. When they try to squeeze the bottle, nothing will come out. They can try and try, and then you can show them what really happened. You can explain how it was a prank and laugh together.

3. The toothpaste swapperoo

   Yeah, I know. Why so many toothpaste pranks? Instead of putting toothpaste on a brush and handing it to them, put something that looks like it. Think – icing, cream cheese, or something edible. When they go to brush their teeth they will get a surprise.

Remember these cardinal rules of pranks this season

1. You should know the recipient of the prank extremely well. Don't prank your child if their temperament is unlikely to enjoy a prank. I wouldn't say I like pranks being done to me, but my husband enjoys pranks – an example of unique feelings.

2. A prank should not cause physical harm or potential physical harm. Such as moving a chair from someone as they sit down.

3. Don’t fall prey to something called “punching down.” This is used in comedy, where you make a group with less power than you look foolish or embarrass them. This is why pranks on peers can be seen as more appropriate, as there is mutual development and equal “power” in the relationship. A child looks up to you, and if you prank them and they don’t understand, it can feel like a loss of trust or embarrassing.

4. Pranks should not alter someone’s body without their consent. Please don’t cut their hair while they’re sleeping.

5. Don’t humiliate them. The goal of a prank should not be to humiliate someone, so if your family is a prank-loving family, keep it in your home and focus on things that aren’t humiliating.

6. Be willing to apologize if you chose a prank that missed the mark. You should know they will be receptive to it, and if they’re not, you need to connect with them and reassure them of your intentions.

7. Remember that lightness and jokes can exist in relationships without physical harm or embarrassment.

On The Podcast

Struggling with boundary setting? Wanting to foster secure attachment with your child Want a relationship with your child as they get older? Issues in school, with peers, etc., and trying to find out why? You’re going to want to listen to this episode. I dive deep into three things children need in relationships with their grown-ups. Whether it’s a parent, teacher, or other caregiver, our children want to feel safe, respected, and connected. I dive deep into how this shows up in parenting and offer insight and stories as well.

I discuss:

• How kids can feel unsafe in their home and how it’s not just physical safety

• Why one-way respect parenting is outdated and why we have to respect our kids for them to respect us

• How to build a secure attachment and why it’s needed

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