Last December I shared one of the most vulnerable solo episodes I have ever recorded about my own relationship with anger and where it came from.  So when I sat down with Libby Ward, digital creator, speaker, and author of the new memoir Honest Motherhood: On Losing My Mind and Finding Myself, the conversation felt personal from the start.

Libby tells a story about a granola bar.  That is all I am going to say about it because you need to hear her walk through it yourself.  What I will tell you is that it involves an ordinary morning, an ordinary snack and a moment of rage and shame so intense it forced her to look at what was underneath. 

Maternal mental health conditions affects about 1 in 5 moms and 75% of them never receive treatment.  I think a big reason so many moms stay quiet is the fear of how it will sound.  If you say that motherhood is difficult, it does not mean that you love your children any less.  Libby and I came back to this many times because that fear keeps so many women from getting support.

The rage rarely starts in the moment it shows up. It starts much earlier in the beliefs we carry into motherhood.  Libby grew up in a home where rest was something you earned.  Layer people-pleasing and hyper-independence on top of that and you get a mom who has no idea what her own capacity is and cannot feel how disconnected she has become from her own needs until her body makes it impossible to ignore.

We also talk about one of my favorite phrases “name it to tame it.”  Naming it matters just as much for us as it does for our kids.  And Libby shares what she does when she feels herself getting close to that edge.  It is simpler than what you might expect, and it has nothing to do with becoming a calmer person overnight.

What an honest mom is and how honesty can change the entire narrative of what makes a “good” mom.  The full granola bar story and what it taught Libby about her triggers.  Why understanding capacity matters more than perfecting your reactions. And for the parent who feels like they are not showing up the way they want to, what Libby wants you to understand about what your child needs most from you (hint: its not a mom who has it all together).

Still wondering what a granola bar has to do with motherhood and anger? That is exactly where the episode begins.

Listen to my full conversation with Libby Ward wherever you get your podcasts and find more of her work at libbyward.com

I am so grateful that you continue to make space for these conversations. If the podcast has been helpful to you, leaving a review wherever you listen is one of the simplest ways to help more parents find the show.

And I always want to hear from you. Reply to this email and let me know what topics, questions, or conversations you would love to hear more about in future episodes.