This Conversation Helped Me Feel Less Stuck

Every time another shooting makes the news, I feel the same combination of heartbreak and frustration.

We grieve. We talk about how devastating it is. We think about the families whose lives changed in an instant. And then, too often, the news cycle moves on while the rest of us are left wondering what we are actually supposed to do with all of that fear, anger, and helplessness.

I feel that weight as a mom. But I also carry it as a pediatrician.

I have talked to families about secure firearm storage and the very real ways it can protect children. I think about what it means to raise kids in a country where lockdown drills have become part of childhood. And as someone married to an ER doctor, I know this issue is not abstract. My husband has seen the aftermath of gun violence firsthand, including the moments when families receive news no family should ever have to hear.

I was also practicing in South Florida when the Parkland shooting happened. Even beyond the families directly impacted, the fear permeated our broader community. Kids were scared. Parents were scared. It stayed with all of us.

So when I sat down with Angela Ferrell-Zabala, the Executive Director of Moms Demand Action, I brought the same question I think many parents are carrying:

What do we actually do with the helpless feeling?

The framing that helped me

One part of the conversation that especially resonated with me was Angela’s reminder that gun violence is not inevitable.

As a pediatrician, I naturally think about this through a public health lens. When something is harming children, we do not simply accept it as the way things are. We look closely at the data. We consider the different ways families are being affected. And we look for opportunities to prevent harm.

That matters because this conversation is also much bigger than the mass shootings that make national headlines.

Those tragedies are horrific. But gun violence also touches families through suicide, domestic violence, community violence, unintentional shootings, and the lasting trauma children can carry even when they survive. My husband’s experience in the ER has reinforced that reality for me. There are so many families affected by gun violence whose stories never become part of the national news cycle.

Understanding the broader picture does not make the issue feel smaller. But it does help us see that there are tangible places to begin.

The part that gave me more hope

I also walked away thinking about something Angela said that we do not hear enough: we may not be as divided as we are often made to feel.

She has had conversations with parents, gun owners, veterans, faith leaders, educators, medical professionals, and people across political lines. On paper, they may appear to have very little in common. But when the conversation begins with keeping children and communities safe, there is often more common ground than we realize.

I appreciated that because I do not think progress comes from approaching every conversation ready to attack each other. It is healthy to acknowledge that people may see certain issues differently while still recognizing a good idea when we hear one.

We do not have to agree on every detail before we can talk about responsibility, secure storage, background checks, or the basic guardrails that protect our communities.

One place to begin

This episode did not leave me feeling like the problem was simple, because it is not.

But it did leave me feeling a little less stuck.

Angela reminded me that advocacy does not have to look one particular way. You do not have to be the person speaking at a rally or leading an organization. You can start with one conversation. You can ask whether firearms are securely stored before your child goes to a playdate. You can pay attention to local elections. You can lend your time, voice, or skills in the way that makes sense for you.

The problems we face are big, but that does not mean our individual actions are meaningless.

Sometimes the first step is simply allowing ourselves to believe that change is still possible.

Listen to my full conversation with Angela Ferrell-Zabala wherever you get your podcasts.

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