Trust Your Gut and Your Feelings

As a parent, you trust your parental instincts to guide many parenting decisions and actions – you know your child best! Your instincts often originate from a blend of intuition, experience, and your innate connection with your little one. Embracing and trusting these instincts fosters a deeper connection, which creates a natural harmony between you and your child. This reminds us of how in sync we are with our children – at an emotional level where our feelings and energy are often intertwined.

A recently published article reminds parents that we often already know what to do when it comes to comforting our little ones. For example, it’s a common instinct to stand up to soothe your baby, which often works! 

The article references a research study demonstrating that when babies under six months of age are carried by a walking mother, their crying stops, and their heart rate decreases. This was compared to mothers holding their babies while sitting. The study concludes that being carried produces “a coordinated set of central, motor, and cardiac regulations” that calms and soothes babies.

The calming response to walking may develop before birth or while in utero. When pregnant, it often seems that while we are awake and walking, our babies are napping. Then, when we are sleeping at 3:00 am, our babies are awake and moving! 

Sometimes, walking creates a calming effect for us as parents, too, which can help our children feel calm! As parents, we know that a family's feelings and energy are often intertwined. We all have our own experiences in which we recognize our emotions and energy fuel others, especially our children.

For example, your child wakes up in the morning and is fussy for seemingly no reason, but it feels like something is off – often, this initially makes you feel off, too. Or, you are hurrying to get ready one morning because you don’t want to be late, but now your child senses the rush and becomes frustrated and refuses to put on their jacket, but this leads you to become more frustrated since they aren’t listening, which leads to a meltdown.

Our emotions and energy as parents and our children are often reciprocal. Remember that regulating your nervous system helps them to regulate theirs.

So, if it seems like an off moment or off day, what can we do?

Reset the moment, day, or week. Here are some tips to shake that negative energy.

• Accept that it’s okay for things to not go how you envisioned. Avoid fighting or resisting the emotion; rather, acknowledge and accept it.

• Adjust your expectations.

• Let it go, let it go 🎵 sometimes it helps to sing it. Ask yourself, “Is this going to matter in 5 weeks or years?” If not, don’t spend the time allowing yourself to think about it and the associated emotions to consume you in the moment. 

• Take a deep breath. When we are stressed or anxious, we forget to breathe. In the moment, focus on taking a deep breath. This will give you time to respond the way you consciously choose to, rather than react subconsciously.

• Focus on the power of thought – we attract the thoughts we want. Even if a situation is stressful – and it truly is, you don’t have to deny your feelings – if you continue to feed the situation with stress, only stress will prevail. Our thoughts become our reality. Energy is contagious. Sometimes to shake a negative thought, it’s helpful to change scenery, dance, or give your loved one a hug.

More Tips to Reset

Check out this PedsDocTalk podcast episode for more details and tips to reset the negative day before it ends. But, if it does end, don't worry because you can start over fresh tomorrow.

On The Podcast

It’s 2024, and this year’s goal for my community and listeners is learning to “let go” of the things that are not serving us or blocking our joy. I discuss:

• Why controlling tendencies can occur, especially in motherhood

• Why motherhood is the ultimate struggle for those of us who grew up loving control

• What control looks like in motherhood

• Ten steps to learn to let go of control

Ask Dr. Mona

An opportunity for YOU to ask Dr. Mona your parenting questions!

Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!