What Helped Me When I Was Burned Out

If you’ve felt stretched thin lately, like your patience runs out before the day does, you’re not alone. This time of year tends to magnify everything we’re already juggling: school schedules, activities, family gatherings, endless to-dos. It’s easy to end up running on fumes and wonder why even small moments of joy feel harder to reach.

That’s not because you’re doing anything wrong. It’s likely you’re burned out.

Burnout isn’t always about doing too much. Sometimes it’s about thinking too much…the open loops that never close. The text you forgot to answer. The bill you meant to pay. The lunch form still sitting in your inbox. Each one quietly tugs at your brain, adding to the invisible load you carry. That constant hum of unfinished thoughts keeps your nervous system in alert mode, and when that becomes the norm, exhaustion follows.

I know that feeling too well. I was burned out for three years, though at the time, I didn’t realize it was actually anxiety and depression. It started during the pandemic: working in healthcare, navigating new parenthood without a community, going through IVF, and carrying everyone’s needs before my own. It wasn’t just the hard things that drained me; it was also the good things. The milestones, the projects, the opportunities. Each one meaningful, but together, too much for one nervous system to process without rest.

That’s the sneaky part of burnout. It can start as a season, then slowly turn into a constant state. And in parenting, it’s especially tricky. You can love your kids deeply and still feel like you’re running on empty. Burnout doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’ve been functioning in survival mode for too long.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And the way out isn’t through a massive overhaul. It’s in the small, consistent moments that remind your brain and body they’re safe to rest again.

It reminds me of a PedsDocTalk podcast episode on how powerful small changes can be. Instead of pushing through or waiting for a “reset week” that never comes, there are practical, science-backed ways to refill your tank little by little.

But what does that actually look like when you’re already running on empty?

Micro breaks, macro relief

One of the most powerful takeaways from that conversation was the idea of micro breaks: tiny moments built into your day that help prevent burnout from building in the first place. Unlike vacations or rare “self-care days,” these breaks are short, realistic resets that recharge your body and mind while life keeps moving.

They don’t have to be fancy. It can be taking a short walk without your phone or sitting in your car for ten quiet minutes before pickup (it’s me!). Even a few minutes of slow breathing or movement can tell your body, You’re safe. You can exhale.

These small pauses matter because they interrupt the constant stress loop. Instead of waiting until you’re completely depleted, you’re refilling the tank throughout the day, preventing the breakdown before it happens.

And here’s the part that always hits home for me: kids co-regulate with us. They borrow our calm. When we take micro breaks to reset our nervous system, we’re not just helping ourselves. We’re showing them how to recover from stress too.

Young children don’t yet have the full ability to calm themselves when emotions run high. Their brains rely on connection with a regulated adult to learn what calm feels like. Every time you take a few deep breaths, pause before reacting, or give yourself space to reset, you’re showing your child what it looks like to handle stress in a healthy way.

Think of it like this: your child’s nervous system learns from yours. If they see you pushing through, rushing, or snapping from exhaustion, that becomes the pattern they internalize. But when they see you stop, breathe, and return with more patience, they learn that calm is something we create, not wait for.

You’re shaping emotional regulation skills that will serve your child for life simply by taking moments to regulate yourself first.

A ten-minute walk, three deep breaths, five minutes of silence. It might feel small, but these moments are what keep your tank from running dry, and help you show up with more patience for the people who need you most.

Boundaries that protect your energy

Burnout often creeps in because we were never really taught how to hold boundaries. Many of us grew up believing that saying no, asking for help, or admitting we’re at capacity somehow meant we were failing. So we keep stretching ourselves thinner and thinner, until there’s nothing left to give.

Boundaries are not selfish. They’re necessary. They’re not walls meant to shut people out. They’re quiet lines that remind you how to protect your energy and respond when others cross it. They help you decide what belongs to you and what doesn’t.

At first, setting them might feel uncomfortable. You might notice your shoulders tighten or your heart race. That’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s just your nervous system adjusting to something new. Boundaries take practice. Some will stick, others may need fine-tuning. What matters is keeping them simple and kind, both toward yourself and the people you love.

Because here’s the truth: you can’t be everything for everyone at the same time. No one can. And the images we see on social media? They’re just snapshots. They leave out the help, support, and trade-offs behind the scenes.

Real balance comes from knowing your limits and honoring them. When you do, you create more room for the moments that actually fill you up: connection, calm, and joy.

Gratitude that grounds you

Gratitude won’t erase burnout, but it can shift your brain’s focus from threat to safety. Something that matters when your nervous system has been in overdrive for too long. Studies show that regularly naming what we’re thankful for lowers stress hormones and boosts serotonin, which helps your brain rest and reset.

I do this regularly, even when I’m burned out. I look for a small glimmer in my day, even if it’s been tough. Something or someone that sparked a moment of gratitude or joy. I write it on a small piece of paper and drop it into my gratitude jar.

And I remind my community to do the same in a different way. I was recently featured in a Yahoo article about tiny habits that change our lives, and the practice I shared was this: looking for hearts. A leaf that’s heart-shaped, a puddle that looks like one, a cloud that forms just right. It’s a simple practice that helps your brain look for good in everyday.

These tiny reminders aren’t about ignoring the hard stuff; they’re about balancing it. When you train your mind to notice beauty, even in chaos, it helps anchor you back to calm.

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about pausing to notice what’s still steady when life feels heavy, like the quiet cup of coffee, the hug that lands just right, the bedtime giggle. Those moments don’t fix the exhaustion, but they remind your brain that safety and goodness still exist alongside the hard.

Even jotting down one or two things each night or saying them out loud with your kids can help rewire your brain toward calm. Gratitude isn’t a cure, but it’s a gentle counterweight to the mental load.

Start small, and build from there

The best part about recovery from burnout is that it doesn’t require a total life overhaul. You can start anywhere, in any season of parenting, with whatever time you have right now.

Start small. Five minutes of deep breathing. A quick stretch between meetings. A short walk to the mailbox and back. These moments count. They’re the foundation of change.

Consistency matters more than perfection. Maybe it’s five minutes, five days a week. Maybe some days it’s only two. That’s okay. You’re teaching your body, and your brain, that rest and care are allowed.

Once those tiny habits start to feel natural, build on them. Add another five-minute break. Protect one small pocket of quiet time on your calendar. You don’t need to do everything differently overnight. Small habits, repeated often, turn into major shifts in how you feel and how you show up.

And when you can, make those moments phone-free. Step outside, sit in the car, listen to your own thoughts instead of another feed. You might be surprised how much lighter you feel after just a few uninterrupted minutes.

Final thoughts

Parenting burnout doesn’t happen overnight…and it doesn’t disappear overnight either. It’s the slow build of invisible labor, unmet needs, and unrealistic expectations that quietly drain us. But recovery can start just as quietly with micro breaks, healthy boundaries, and a few small steps toward yourself.

You don’t need to wait for the perfect time, the next long weekend, or a vacation to feel better. Change starts in five-minute moments of awareness and care. Every time you pause, breathe, or say “not right now,” you’re teaching your body that it’s safe to rest. And showing your child that care is something we give to ourselves, too.

If this resonates with you, listen to the full conversation here:

🎧 Parenting Burnout: Science-Backed Strategies to Thrive, Not Just Survive

🎥 PDT Podcast: Parenting Burnout Tips That Actually Work | Dr. Flora Sinha

On The Podcast

In this episode, I sit down with Shannon Watts to talk about something so many parents and caregivers quietly wrestle with, how to stay fired up in the middle of responsibility, burnout, and the weight of shoulds.

Shannon is the founder of Moms Demand Action and the author of Fired Up, and our conversation goes far beyond advocacy. We talk about identity, purpose, and what happens when women are taught to put obligation ahead of desire for most of their lives. This episode is about what it looks like to reconnect with yourself, not by blowing up your life, but by getting honest about what matters.

Parenting already asks a lot of us. So why does it feel like our generation is carrying so much more pressure, doubt, and noise?

In this Follow-Up episode, I’m revisiting one of our most listened-to conversations, a real, late-night talk with my husband Gaurav that hit a nerve for so many parents. We talk honestly about how comparison culture, constant advice, and fear of getting it wrong have made parenting feel heavier than it needs to be.

On YouTube

If your baby keeps waking at night and you are exhausted and confused, you are not doing anything wrong. I walk through what night waking looks like by age, the most common reasons babies wake, and how to figure out why your baby is waking, whether or not sleep training is part of your plan. I also share when to pause, when to respond, and where to find my trusted sleep guides and newsletter resources on the PedsDocTalk website for extra support.

Ask Dr. Mona

An opportunity for YOU to ask Dr. Mona your parenting questions!

Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!