What I Wish Grown Women Were Taught About Their Periods As Teenagers

Here is something I wish someone had told me when I was a teenager: painful periods are not a rite of passage. They are information.

Most of us were not taught that though. And honestly, that is not an accident. Medical research and healthcare education have deep roots in gender and racial bias. Funding historically flowed toward male health issues. Women's pain was minimized, dismissed, or simply understudied. 

Things have changed, but not as much as we like to think, and the ripple effects still show up in how we talk to girls about their bodies today.

Most of us were not really taught how our periods work. We were taught to expect and manage them. Do not forget to carry supplies. Maybe take something for cramps. Consider tracking them once we are older. But many of us were not taught what a period could actually be telling us about our health.

And for too many girls, the message becomes: this is just what periods are.

The pain, heavy bleeding, irregular cycles…it is all “normal.” Missing school, canceling plans, bleeding through clothes, pushing through because everyone else seems to handle it better…

But what if we stopped treating a girl's period like something she simply has to tolerate and started treating it like information?

That is the conversation I had with Dr. Natalie Crawford, OB-GYN, reproductive endocrinologist, and author of The Fertility Formula. And I will be honest with you: I went into this conversation knowing periods matter, but left realizing we need to ask better questions much earlier.

This one felt personal

I have watched friends struggle with fertility issues as adults and look back on symptoms that were dismissed when they were younger. Painful periods, irregular cycles, and concerns that were brushed off as "just puberty" or "just how your body is."

I have seen this in patients too.

Girls whose pain gets minimized or are told to push through. Girls who start to believe that maybe they are just sensitive, dramatic, or not handling things as well as everyone else.

That is the part that sits with me. Because when a child learns not to trust what her body is telling her, that does not stay contained to adolescence. It can follow her into adulthood, into medical visits, into fertility struggles, and into the moments when she needs to advocate for herself but has been taught that her symptoms are probably nothing.

I do not want that for our daughters.

The framing that stayed with me

Natalie says the menstrual cycle is a vital sign, and I love that framing.

As parents, we pay attention to so many signs from our children's bodies. We notice sleep, appetite, growth, energy, mood, pain, behavior, and development. We talk often about helping kids understand hunger cues, fullness cues, emotions, and what their bodies need.

Menstrual health belongs in that same conversation.

A period is not just a monthly inconvenience. It can give us clues about hormones, thyroid function, ovulation, stress, nutrition, and medical conditions that deserve attention.

That does not mean every cramp is a crisis or every irregular cycle means something serious. But it does mean we should stop automatically dismissing symptoms simply because periods are common.

Common and normal are not always the same thing.

The question I want more parents to ask

One of the most practical parts of our conversation was about pain. We often ask whether a teen is missing school because of her period. And yes, pain that keeps a child home from school matters. But Natalie added a question I will be thinking about for a long time:

Would she miss dinner at her favorite restaurant? A movie with friends? A game, practice, birthday party, or activity she was excited about?

That question is key because it helps separate "I do not feel like going to school today" from "my pain is interfering with my life." And if period pain is regularly stopping your child from living her life, that deserves a closer look.

The same goes for bleeding through clothes regularly, cycles that feel impossible to predict, or spotting that seems to drag on. And if a first period has not come within two years of breast development or by age 16, that deserves a conversation too.

When you notice a pattern, bring it in. That is where the better questions begin. Because your daughter's period is information, and so is her pain. It is her body asking us to pay attention.

Listen to my full conversation with Dr. Natalie Crawford wherever you get your podcasts.

A small way to support the show

I am so grateful that you continue to make space for these conversations. If the podcast has been helpful to you, leaving a review wherever you listen is one of the simplest ways to help more parents find the show.

And I always want to hear from you. Reply to this email and let me know what topics, questions, or conversations you would love to hear more about in future episodes.