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Frustration is a normal and healthy emotion, but learning to cope with it takes time. Toddlers are still developing the skills to handle disappointment, so when things don’t go as expected, their emotions can feel overwhelming. This is where frustration tolerance comes in–the ability to work through frustration instead of getting stuck in it.

One of the best ways to teach this skill is to model it yourself. When you encounter frustration–like spilling or struggling with a toy–narrate your response; “Oh no, that didn’t work! I’ll take a deep breath and try again.” Toddlers learn by watching, so showing calmness and problem-solving helps them do the same.

It’s also helpful to give them space to work through challenges. If they’re struggling with a toy, resist the urge to jump in right away. Instead, say, “Let me see what you can do first. You can try again!” If they get upset, acknowledge it: “I see you’re frustrated. That’s okay.” Giving them a moment to figure things out helps build confidence and resilience.

If frustration escalates, offering help is okay–but guide rather than take over. Try breaking it into steps: “First, move this piece here. What comes next?” Or offer to show them: “Do you want me to show you? Then you can try!” This teaches them that asking for help is okay while still encouraging independence.

If your child hits themselves when frustrated, know that this isn’t uncommon. Toddlers sometimes express big emotions physically because they don’t yet have the words to cope. When this happens, stay calm and set a clear boundary: “I see you’re upset, but I won’t let you hurt yourself. I’ll hold you close.” Once they’ve calmed down, help them process: “You were frustrated the toy didn’t fit. It’s okay to feel frustrated, but it’s not okay to hit. When you feel frustrated, take a deep breath like this…” Then, practice together.

Over time, with consistency and support, your child will learn that frustration is something they can work through. If the behavior becomes frequent or escalates, checking in with your child’s pediatrician may be helpful.

For more on teaching frustration tolerance, check out this PedsDocTalk Newsletter. And for additional strategies, listen to this PedsDocTalk podcast episode about managing frustration and important steps for these moments.

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It’s common for babies to have a more sensitive gag reflex, especially when transitioning from purées to textured food. Gagging is a normal and protective reflex as they learn to move food around their mouths safely. The key is to go at your baby’s pace while continuing to offer opportunities for practice.

Some babies benefit from restrictive foods–those that encourage oral exploration without breaking apart easily. Foods like a whole mango pit (for gnawing, not eating) help babies practice moving food in their mouths safely, gradually reducing their gag reflex sensitivity.

You can also gradually introduce different textures by offering slightly thicker purées or mashed foods. Letting your baby touch and explore foods before eating can make them more comfortable and reduce hesitation.

Gagging is a normal part of learning to eat, but it can be nerve-wracking. Try to stay calm and avoid reacting too strongly, as this can startle your baby. Instead, offer encouragement: “You’re okay! You can try again!” If they seem frustrated or lose interest after gagging, take a break and try again later without pressure. With time and practice, their gag reflex will naturally adjust. If gagging remains excessive or leads to frequent vomiting, checking in with their pediatrician can be helpful to determine if additional support is necessary.

Many parents feel uncertain about gagging vs. choking, so check out this Instagram post for a helpful visual.

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And to feel more confident about safety, grab the free PedsDocTalk Choking Guide.

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