Screen Time Struggle

Screens are everywhere– TVs, tablets, and phones. And if you’re a parent, screen time can feel like a constant negotiation. “Can I watch something?” or, “Just five more minutes!” Sometimes, it’s the only way to make it through dinner prep.

But when it comes to screen time boundaries, the advice can feel all over the place. One person says they’d never allow screens under the age of five. Another says screens are damaging. Others recommend only specific shows or time limits. It’s a lot–and instead of feeling empowered, many parents just end up feeling overwhelmed or guilty.

So, let’s shift the focus.

This is my personal approach to screen time with my toddler and preschooler–as a pediatrician and as a modern mom. I’m not here to give you rigid rules or tell you you’re doing it wrong. I’m here to share what’s worked for us, with an approach that’s built on intention, flexibility, and what makes sense for your family.

Because I’ve learned that a one-size-fits-all approach rarely works–and balance looks different in every household.

How I think about screen time

While the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) offers helpful screen time guidelines by age, I’ve found that applying them requires flexibility. Screens are part of modern life. They can be helpful, even necessary. But like anything, too much can get in the way of what matters most: connection, rest, movement, and creativity.

Curious about the AAP guidelines–or how screens impact attention span, creativity, and brain development? Watch this PedsDocTalk YouTube video for more insight and tips.

For me, screen time isn’t “good” or “bad.” It’s just one piece of the day. The key is being intentional about when and how we use screens–and making sure they don’t interfere with important parts of our routine like meals, sleep, and family time.

Our approach has shifted over the years, and I expect it will continue to evolve as our kids grow. That’s something I encourage every parent to keep in mind–your screen time strategy doesn’t have to be fixed. It should grow alongside your child and reflect your current season of life.

And I want to acknowledge that for many neurodiverse or autistic children, screens can be a valuable tool for regulation, comfort, and communication.

If you’re in a season where screens are helping more than you’d like to admit? I’ve been there too. Maybe you’re juggling work, adjusting to life with a newborn, or simply trying to make it through the day. Give yourself some grace.

Take what’s helpful and leave what doesn’t fit. Your family’s screen time plan should reflect your lifestyle, values, and priorities.

What screen time looks like in our home

Our current approach isn’t rigid–and it’s definitely evolved over time. What worked with our first child during the pandemic looked different than what we do now with two kids. We’ve adjusted based on our needs, our season of life, and what felt manageable.

Here’s how screen time generally looks for our family right now:

Under one? No screens, except FaceTime

When our kids were under one, we kept screens off-limits–aside from video chats with family. Babies don’t need screens. They thrive on real-world interaction: eye contact, silly faces, peek-a-boo, and responsible babbling. That’s where the magic happens.

That said, life with multiple kids makes it trickier. Our younger one was sometimes in the room while her older brother watched TV. We’d try to position her away or keep her engaged with a caregiver–but if she caught a glimpse of Blue while crawling by? We didn’t stress. Her eyes weren’t going to melt off. Real life happens.

After one, our approach shifts.

Once our children turned one, we introduced limited screen time–keeping it intentional. We focus on co-watching, so whether I’m sitting with them or nearby, I stay engaged by asking simple questions or pointing things out. It becomes a chance for joint attention–an opportunity for learning, bonding, and conversation. This helps make screen time feel social and purposeful, not just passive viewing. 

Wondering what co-watching really looks like? This PedsDoctalk blog post explains what it is, why it matters, and how to make it work with your family.

No iPads or phones for regular use.

Another priority for us? At home, screen time is limited to the “big” TV– no iPads or phones for everyday use. This makes screen time feel more communal and easier to supervise. Personal devices are portable and hyper-personal, which makes them harder to manage and easier to overuse.

Plus, too much close-up screen time on smaller devices has been linked to myopia (or near-sightedness). This PedsDocTalk podcast episode with a pediatric opthalmologist dives deeper into how screen time may impact children’s visual development.

So for us, sticking to the TV keeps screen use more social, more predictable–and easier to keep within the boundaries that work for our family.

Screens at meals and in public

Meals are screen-free in our home–and that’s intentional.

We’ve made mealtime a protected space: a chance to chat about our day, play some music, and reconnect. As working parents, we don’t always get as much time together as we’d like, so we try to keep the table a place for conversation and presence.

It’s not just about connection–it’s also about awareness. When kids eat while watching a screen, they can become distracted and disconnected from their body’s hunger and fullness cues. Eating turns into a mindless activity, and that can lead to under-eating, over-eating, or just zoning out at the table. Meals are also an opportunity for kids to explore food through all their senses–texture, smell, flavor–and screens can take that experience away.

Now, we’re not strict to the point of never making exceptions. Watching a family sports game together while we eat? That’s different. That’s communal. That’s intentional.

At restaurants, we try to keep it old-school.

No judgment to parents handing over a phone at a restaurant–I get it. But for our family, we treat screens as a last resort when dining out. If other kids are using them and ours feel left out, we’ll occasionally allow it, but most of the time, we come prepared with small toys, coloring, or even games we make up on the spot.

Why is this important for us? Because dining is a social activity, it’s about connection, conversation, and keeping the focus on the experience, not the screen. It’s about helping our kids build comfort with boredom, creativity, and the slower pace of public spaces–so they don’t expect a screen every time they sit down at the table.

When we make exceptions

We’re flexible about screen time on weekends, sick days, and during travel. If we’ve had a busy day, an active day, we don’t stress about a movie or a show. On sick days, it’s all about comfort– screens are part of the rest and recovery.

Flights are one of the few times we use an iPad. Our son has a dedicated “travel iPad,” and he looks forward to using it on planes. We still bring books, toys, and snacks, but for us, screens are part of travel.

The key is that these exceptions don’t throw off our bigger routine. They’re occasional, intentional, and part of a rhythm that works for us right now.

Want more details on how we think through all of this? Watch this PedsDocTalk YouTube video for more on balancing screen time in a way that works for your family.

Setting boundaries and managing transitions

Screen time boundaries don’t have to be perfect–but they do need to be clear. For us, that means building screen time into our routine so it’s predictable and not something our kids ask for all day long. It also means sticking to the limits we’ve set, even when it’s hard.

Timers and routines help a lot. We usually offer screen time after other key parts of the day–like outdoor play, meals, or school. When it’s time to turn it off, we give a five-minute warning and use a visual or audio timer. Our kids help “turn it off,” which gives them a sense of ownership and responsibility.

We also focus on quality content. We aim for shows that are engaging but not overstimulating, with positive messages and opportunities for learning.

Offering choices helps avoid power struggles. Kids are more likely to cooperate when they feel involved. So we might say, “Do you want to watch X or Y?” or “Would you rather watch now or after dinner?” We’re still setting the boundaries–but offering options within them.

And when meltdowns happen? Because they do…I try to stay calm, validate their feelings (“It’s hard to stop when you’re having fun”), and offer a small choice: “Do you want to turn it off, or should I?” Then, I redirect them to something else–going outside, playing with toys, or starting an activity they enjoy. Most importantly, I stay consistent. Once a boundary is set, I don’t backtrack. Transitions are hard, but with consistency and connection, they do get easier over time.

Want more support around screen time tantrums, including the number one mistake to avoid? This PedsDocTalk newsletter breaks down helpful strategies, mistakes to watch for, and tips to stay consistent while holding boundaries with confidence.

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, screen time isn’t about being perfect–it’s about being intentional.

When you’re thinking about how to set screen time rules in your home, consider your child’s development, your family’s needs, and your overall routine. Start early with intentional use–under age 1, stick to video chats only. Between 1-2 years, co-watch when possible to foster language and connection.

Set clear boundaries that work for you. We keep screens out of bedrooms, off during meals and playtime, and stick to communal screens like the TV (instead of tablets) even beyond the toddler years. This keeps screen use social, predictable, and easier to manage–plus, it protects visual health.

Prioritize content that is educational and positive. Avoid fast-paced, overly stimulating shows that can make transitions harder. And when it’s time to turn things off, involve your child: set timers, give warnings, and offer small choices. This builds responsibility, reduces pushback, and gives kids a sense of control.

And most importantly, adapt your approach to your season. Be flexible on weekends, during travel, or when your child is sick. Flexibility doesn’t mean failure. It means your plan is realistic, and that matters.

One more thing: we also think about our own screen use. Phones go away during dinner and play. We try to stay mindful of the example we’re setting. Because kids are always watching us and learning from our ways.

Want to hear more of my go-to strategies for managing screen time, including exceptions and boundary-setting tips? Watch this PedsDocTalk YouTube video for practical insights that support healthy habits and family connection.

On The Podcast

Buzzwords like “non-GMO” and “all natural” can make a product appear like a good choice but with confusing marketing how do we curb the overwhelm and make good food decisions for our kids? Whether you’re navigating snack aisles or Instagram reels, this conversation is a must-listen for anyone who wants real, evidence-based guidance on feeding their family well. I’m joined by Dr. Adrian Chavez, who has a Ph.D. in Nutrition and Health Promotion, to discuss:

• How fear-based marketing and social media myths mislead parents.

• How to decode buzzwords like “organic” and “non-GMO” and make informed choices without the guilt.

• Practical, judgment-free tips to build healthy habits for your family—without the overwhelm.

In this The Follow-Up episode with the incredible team behind @biglittlefeelings, we’re diving deeper into the everyday power struggles parents face — food throwing, hitting, biting, meltdowns, and more. I’m joined by Kristin and Deena to break down practical, compassionate scripts for managing these challenging behaviors without yelling, shaming, or losing your cool.

You’ll learn:

• What to actually say when your toddler throws food

• How to respond calmly and effectively to hitting and biting

• Why trying to teach in the middle of a meltdown doesn’t work

• The difference between setting a boundary and escalating a situation

• How validating emotions can prevent anxiety and support long-term emotional health

On YouTube

Help your baby thrive with 5 brain-boosting tips from a pediatrician! Simple, everyday ways to support learning from day one. This video covers:

• How to encourage interactive play and social engagement

• How to introduce a variety of stimulating experiences

• How to foster language development through communication

• What are the best activities to boost your baby’s brain development

• How to provide opportunities for movement and exploration

Ask Dr. Mona

An opportunity for YOU to ask Dr. Mona your parenting questions!

Dr. Mona will answer these questions in a future Sunday Morning Q&A email. Chances are if you have a parenting concern or question, another parent can relate. So let's figure this out together!